Make Your Heart Smile.

My heart is smiling today. My gift to myself was to take a plunge into the unhealthy habits I have.  An Integrative Hypnotherapy session with my friend, Victoria revealed to me that I had this unconscious belief that I had to be sick (or small, weak) in order to be connected to my family and in relationship to other people. I am proud to share that is no longer the case. The tools that I have supporting me is an amazing support system who hold me very high and accountable, my own inner strength and the ability/resources to interrupt patterns and choose different.  My purpose is being revealed to me everyday. I repeat the word: "In every way, everyday, I'm getting better and better" - as the days go by, I find that manifestation is coming to life, and I want to spend my life ensuring others learn to tap into their intrinsic strength.  My challenge to all of you, dear readers, is could you help at least one person ? How many smiles could we generate? Wi

30 has kicked my ass- but, a radical year of transformation, forgiveness, acceptance full of teachers, lessons, students and now, I am happy to the leave the fucker behind. Here's what I walk away with, in few words, but photos.  My cousins are and will always be my best friends. Their children? my homies.  Embrace being the outsider, but always know, you belong somewhere.  Explore where you grew up- experience nostalgia fully, find beauty everywhere.  Never be afraid to stretch yourself past wherever you thought you could.  Celebrate all walks of life.  High school brought me my best friends.  Look up more!  Have a best friend who is stronger than you, pushes you and reminds you how truly special you are.  Celebrate and cherish love.  Be silly.  God, Divine has always and will always protect me.  Forgive. Learn to be a daughter.  Grieve. Remember who you are. Celebrate. 

On September 11, 2001-  I was almost seventeen years old, a senior in highschool and was living in the Bronx with my father. That morning he had promised to drive me to school, making my one hour commute much easier for me.  In the morning, he had a change of heart and decided to take back his offer; Naturally, I wasn't having it. I argued, cried, screamed and pleaded with my father, pulling the Catholic Italian guilt I knew until finally he gave in. I was in my second class, and it was during this ten minute news announcement that we got word that the planes crashed into the towers. To my dismay, I called my father who was trying to get into the city.  Again, I screamed, cried and pleaded for him to go home, and he listened. On this day, I think of my dad and I because it was my relentless teenage spirit that forced him to avoid traveling to Manhattan on this day. I like to think my intuition knew and protected him from traveling. I think of my fighting spirit that is Divine

Wow, it's been a minute since I've written it this blog. My life has transformed from dark period where I couldn't smile for about eight months to one where smiles and laughter dominate my life. Depression and Anxiety are real. They were the undertone of my existence throughout my 20's, I was hospitalized twice. Through intensive Cognitive Behavioral and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, I've learned to be Now,  fully transparent with my emotions, honoring them, and improving my self-care daily. I've become a Reiki 1 (soon to be Reiki 2) practitioner, trained in bodywork, a singer, writing, and pursuing whatever creative outlet supports healing and transformation. My support system is AMAZING.  I will take a moment here to give some shout outs because without these people, I would not be able to be okay today. My family: My Dad, Titi Sandy & Aunt Diane- were my Dream Team for almost two years. Thank you for the mix of TLC, tough- love and ALL

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away -  The Invitation by Oriah The past week I've been struggling with managing my temper; mainly, living and being in reaction to loved ones. I must admit, I have certainly progressed in this area: spoke what's on my mind and was able to uncover what was in my heart, but not without an attitude. As I think about what has sustained me, anger and sadness has taken up a huge space in my heart. While I am loving, it is not without walls and conditions- this in and of itself, is limiting.  I'm feisty, quick-witted, quick-mouthed, and for years, kept a huge distance between myself in others in various ways. Last year, I found out- being intimidating, intense really limited the way I wanted to be with people. I wanted to be loved. Instead, I was received as heavy, bossy, controlling, intense- surely, someone who needed a hug a

A close loved one of mine has been infected with HIV for over 15 years. To honor her, I've been participating in the AIDS walk for a few years. This year, I wanted to build a team of support - to frame a picture with the certificate of completion. This past Sunday, five friends joined me to make that happen. We walked 6.2 miles amongst the 30,000 others for the cause. My loved one struggles with mattering- often neglecting her well-being until it's almost too late. It's been painful to watch someone be depressed, suffer from addictions and allow her circumstances to define the life she was leading. It leads her. I'll never know what it's like to be infected. I do remember when I was told. I was fifteen years old.  I cried. I didn't know how to process that information. Nobody was able to comfort me. So, I educated myself. I learned about the ELISA test- a diagnostic tool used to screen HIV, all of the potential opportunistic infections and watched Philadelph