It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you,
from the inside,
when all else falls away
-
The Invitation by Oriah
The past week I've been struggling with managing my temper; mainly, living and being in reaction to loved ones. I must admit, I have certainly progressed in this area: spoke what's on my mind and was able to uncover what was in my heart, but not without an attitude.
As I think about what has sustained me, anger and sadness has taken up a huge space in my heart. While I am loving, it is not without walls and conditions- this in and of itself, is limiting. I'm feisty, quick-witted, quick-mouthed, and for years, kept a huge distance between myself in others in various ways. Last year, I found out- being intimidating, intense really limited the way I wanted to be with people. I wanted to be loved.
Instead, I was received as heavy, bossy, controlling, intense- surely, someone who needed a hug and a kick in the ass- all at the same time.
Hurt and anger taught me over the past week, to examine and go a little deeper: why am I so combative? What is really bothering me? Am I really angry and hurt at circumstances or this person? At myself for allowing certain behaviors to continue?.
And, as I sat in my uneasiness, the answered appeared: ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I have limited myself and boxed myself in. I saw that it was my choice because I was addicted to this way of living and I was very afraid.
Well, change is constant and inevitable. People walk in and out of your life. Circumstances are just that: they are meant to be handled otherwise we can become confided by them.
What sustains me, underneath it all is LOVE- of all kinds, in all shapes and forms.
It manifests in its Divinity- the BEAUTY that God created. In the leaves, the trees, and in the hot sun.
It manifests in deep PASSION- for Dance, Writing, Human Connection - in rich and personal stories that reveal the nuances, tragedy and beauty of human existence.
It manifests in AFFECTION- being hugged, kissed.
I am a woman who has needs- and I am grateful to have the courage to admit them , speak them and allow them to be met.
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you,
from the inside,
when all else falls away
-
The Invitation by Oriah
The past week I've been struggling with managing my temper; mainly, living and being in reaction to loved ones. I must admit, I have certainly progressed in this area: spoke what's on my mind and was able to uncover what was in my heart, but not without an attitude.
As I think about what has sustained me, anger and sadness has taken up a huge space in my heart. While I am loving, it is not without walls and conditions- this in and of itself, is limiting. I'm feisty, quick-witted, quick-mouthed, and for years, kept a huge distance between myself in others in various ways. Last year, I found out- being intimidating, intense really limited the way I wanted to be with people. I wanted to be loved.
Instead, I was received as heavy, bossy, controlling, intense- surely, someone who needed a hug and a kick in the ass- all at the same time.
Hurt and anger taught me over the past week, to examine and go a little deeper: why am I so combative? What is really bothering me? Am I really angry and hurt at circumstances or this person? At myself for allowing certain behaviors to continue?.
And, as I sat in my uneasiness, the answered appeared: ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I have limited myself and boxed myself in. I saw that it was my choice because I was addicted to this way of living and I was very afraid.
Well, change is constant and inevitable. People walk in and out of your life. Circumstances are just that: they are meant to be handled otherwise we can become confided by them.
What sustains me, underneath it all is LOVE- of all kinds, in all shapes and forms.
It manifests in its Divinity- the BEAUTY that God created. In the leaves, the trees, and in the hot sun.
It manifests in deep PASSION- for Dance, Writing, Human Connection - in rich and personal stories that reveal the nuances, tragedy and beauty of human existence.
It manifests in AFFECTION- being hugged, kissed.
I am a woman who has needs- and I am grateful to have the courage to admit them , speak them and allow them to be met.
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