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I look forward...

 I began 2013 taking the bull by the horns, with the strong intention that it would be "the best year yet."

It most certainly has been for many reasons, just not in the way I thought it would.

I've grown spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Emotionally? I was in for a rude awakening.

Why? After being armed and ready, willing to stretch and actually accomplish my goals, the pendulum swung back and forth, and it ALL fell apart.

There were months I cried daily. There were months when my inner child was wailing in pain, walking in circles, not knowing what to do next. I didn't believe it would ever go away.

It wasn't until an almost death scare, succumbing to illness, and losing everything, that I have found myself.

It has been scary to observe, experience and actually BE with myself. To be with my pain.

I've lost friendships in which people held up the mirror, and I truly began to see how I have been showing up in the world (in many cases, how I haven't been present).

Rather than fight, I surrender.

I surrender to the burdens that are not my own, to the myths and beliefs that do not serve me, and I've finally been able to feel free.

 True freedom is peace and connectedness to God, my higher self, who knows it's time to be patient and unlearn and choose a different path.

I am very blessed, humbled and graced because I am trusting the process.

I am trusting in God that I am right where I am, and get to choose differently.

All of my dreams, my passion and vigor for life, have been dormant, and as they begin to surface, I look forward to creating.

I look forward to changing my relationships with time, money, energy, God, myself, my family and friends. I look forward to the responsibility of the outcomes.

I look forward to being a role model to my nephews, to my nieces, to my brothers and my sister, to my father, and I look forward to altering the relationship with my mother.

I embrace forgiveness, the time it takes to heal properly. I look forward to wholeness.

I look forward, I stand strong. I am grounded, connected, open, powerful and urgent.

With Love,

Erika

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