I have been trying to do a Midterm paper. Last night, while reading dense course material, tears streamed down my face. I knew why.
I had to take a moment to accept and nurture myself.
Today, I have been working all morning, but other triggers have been coming up.. Again, tears coming down my face.
So, here I am writing this:
Whether we like it or not, the world around us is changing. On the macro-level, it's global warming/climate change..With Hurricane Sandy/Winter storm back to back, what does that tell you?
On a personal level, since I am evolving, so are my views. My paradigm is shifting greatly. Most of my closest relationships were rooted in people-pleasing.
I am not happy with the results I am creating. I am changing that.
As I have pushed my personal growth, these past few months, fears/old beliefs and emotions from being a scared six year old girl have been emerging.
It's amazing how your own body can become some sort of Indiana Jones find of the residuals of your past.
What I will share, briefly for today is this:
When it comes to matters of the heart, especially in relationships, I've learned and am mastering the following:
1. We are not victims, we are participants.
There is always a role you play in a situation.
2. Things will breakdown. It's imperative to understand the breakdown. Damage control is so consuming, so why not invest in fire prevention?
Without discord, there can not be resolution..but it requires work and regular maintenance.
3. Things that were half-ass will eventually come unwoven. Sometimes, it's nobody's fault. It's OK.
Loss, is a fact of life. Short term loss= Long term gain (many of the time), even if you can't see it, now.
With that said, I have to go back to writing my midterm papers.
I am sure I will write again soon, as my heart has been nagging me.
I hope your heart is smiling,
Erika
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