Make Your Heart Smile.

What can you cut in 2012?

2013 is just two days away! 2012 has been one of the most challenging years I've ever had.  Change has been something that I would protest and delay. Now,  I find myself welcoming it.  The fear is still there. (So is it's BFF-Anxiety, Nerves, Paranoia)  In this year of self-growth, I've learned to see beyond past experiences. That is to say, to assign new meaning to starting over.  For example, I went back to school.  The last semester I was in college (2007),  I gave up on two classes in the end. I've since taken them over and have gotten A's. There are many more examples like this from this year-- it has humbled me.  My vision for myself and the world has certainly expanded. What does that mean? I believe in the possibilities. If we are always creating from what has been, we are likely to create the same results over and over.  What about from a place that hasn't happened yet? It's scary. It's uncomfortable. It's where th

Merry Christmas!  I am really grateful this morning. My mom came over to see my new place last night for the first time. We had a late dinner and she's sleeping in my bed right now.  It's amazing how spending time with your parents (and loved ones) really makes this holiday special---at least for me. There was a time when my relationships with my parents were tumultuous and combative. With maturity, patience and persistence, I am so grateful to say that I am close to both of my parents. That is my Christmas Blessing for today. What is yours? Comment Below!  <3 <3 <3,  Erika 

Yesterday,  I attended a Toy Drive that was organized by a powerful leader named Damien.  Toys and resources were donated and will be delivered to families over the next week. Fun was at the heart of this drive as participants bowled and mingled.   I was only there for thirty minutes and was completely humbled by the compassion and love.  Seven attendees joined me to support me t o spread holiday Cheer, in holiday gear at the Covenant House; Young men and women (some with children) are offered  housing and food for around 30 days as a place to start off.  My experience was all that I wanted it to be and more.  I was dressed in a Santa Hat, with me, were special reindeer and elves that helped to deliver candy canes and chocolate during meal time.  At first, I thought how ridiculous we looked to people of this age group...That went away as soon as I saw a smile..I focused out.. and when I did,  I saw my friends (some new ones) sit down and connect with strangers. That's wha

'Tis the season to be jolly Fa la la la la la la la la.... This is the season of Transformation.  The years winding down. It's getting colder, most people are getting broker.. (like all things, it's a matter of choice).   I am a native New Yorker. I LOVE New York at Christmas.  This year, I am grateful to be part of an awesome Leadership team that is dedicated to creating beautiful things. Last Saturday, we had a long day of creating intimacy through humility and service.  In the backdrop, Santa was appearing everywhere, in many shapes and forms.. Now, who doesn't love Santa? But, drunk Santa?  Now that's a horse of a different color. It was my first experience of Santa Con- at first sight is seemingly just light-hearted reindeer games..  However, from a leadership perspective, I had a different vision. Perhaps, it was all in good fun: the excitement, the costumes of people on the train and running through Midtown. However, when you are

I was presently surprised today when I received a compliment from an unexpected reader.  I remember why I choose to make this cheesy blog in the first place. If we are so inclined to reach for sugar or caffeine for pick-me-ups, this should be no different. Sometimes, I lose my writing mojo especially because nowadays it has been solely consumed by Academia. Fact-based writing gives me a headache. However, I've been offered yet another lesson on Resistance. I am choosing to fight against this on a daily basis. The same thing goes for my personal writing. I act like its not important to me. I come up with very creative and insightful bullshit that is very convincing, except I know it's all bullshit. While I used to be driven by the need to impress people, I am becoming more and more grounded. My heart is the leader, and it wants to deliver a message of love. My purpose is to communicate family values in an accessible way. I am all about the love. I am all heart, and

I have been trying to do a Midterm paper. Last night, while reading dense course material, tears streamed down my face. I knew why. I had to take a moment to accept and nurture myself. Today, I have been working all morning, but other triggers have been coming up.. Again, tears coming down my face. So, here I am writing this: Whether we like it or not, the world around us is changing. On the macro-level, it's global warming/climate change..With Hurricane Sandy/Winter storm back to back, what does that tell you? On a personal level, since I am evolving, so are my views. My paradigm is shifting greatly. Most of my closest relationships were rooted in people-pleasing.  I am not happy with the results I am creating. I am changing that. As I have pushed my personal growth, these past few months, fears/old beliefs and emotions from being a scared six year old girl have been emerging. It's amazing how your own body can become some sort of Indiana Jones find of the res

Hurricane Sandy, an historic storm that was unique in its size and capacity swept through the Eastern seaboard.  It brought snow fall of 30 inches all the way to West Virginia. I am a little shaken up as I am writing this. My heart is grateful because I was lucky enough to not be alone, with power and my area was not affected too badly by the storm. Many of my loved ones are without power, and after speaking to a cousin that almost drowned in her apartment with her dog, I am just taking some time to let it all sink in. With all of these mixed feelings,  I am contemplating what is important in life. My prayers are with those who lost their loved ones and their homes. We really see the impact of humanity when we have to weather storms. What is really important to me is to be of service to others and to constantly push my own personal growth in order to add the highest value. I am reminded to remain grateful for my huge capacity to love. With love, Erika

I have been letting anger, frustration and doubt get the best of over the past few weeks.  I'll share my discovery.  What has finally worked for me was to be an observer of my thoughts.  As someone who tries not to be judgmental of others, I am certainly Supreme Court Justice with herself.  And so I resign.. My vision for this blog is to share my personal observations, challenges, solutions and offer an honest, impacting observations and lessons created out of love.  As a loving person with others, I am learning how to cultivate that relationship with myself.  The pendulum swings slower these days but as I was reminded by a friend, I have to celebrate my progress. In other words, it's the journey that is unique to me allow me to grow and forward myself.  So what better time to celebrate then my birthday. On Thursday,  I will be 28 years young.  My vision is big and over the past year, I have been blessed with time, resources a

How many of us these days can say “I love you” with conviction?  Love in and of itself is a lost commodity.  I am guilty as charged. I love deeply and completely. It's very hard for me to let go.  (Love here is not only romantic love)  I am facing many of the decisions I have made over the past few years with reflection and objectivity.  Through a variety of life experience, I can see what is of value now I was searching for love outside of myself for years.. When I had it, I didn’t appreciate it..  but.. How could you love when you really don’t know what it is in the first place?  An even important distinction for me was learning (the very hard way) that love comes from you-- from the inside.   Loving yourself is the ability to express yourself and not hold back.    I've been holding back my joy for a very long time.  Every wonder why fears more accessible than joy and peace? These are some random connected tho

I had a dream... about Stretch Armstrong.  Remember this plastic dude?  He was made of latex rubber filled with gel corn syrup, enabling it to be stretched from 15 inches to 4-5 feet.  Think about that for a second---from a foot and some change to 4 to 5 feet!  In order to get from where I am to where I want to be-- I have to stretch: 1. Physically 2. Mentally 3. Spiritually 4. Emotionally A lot of old beliefs are coming up and if l let them will keep me right where I am.  Well, I don't want to stay right where I am. I want to grow.  I always was afraid of competition. It's not about that. It's about being the best version of yourself as possible. When you are constantly seeking and choosing to grow and stretch- you are able to contribute more. As Rumi says,  “I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way. Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.”   Follow your bliss- and in giving my

I've fallen off of my writing in the past few weeks while adjusting to a full college course load. My mind is expanding.  I am learning art and design principles, poetry, TV Film & Culture,  Documentary, Typecasting, Photoshop, Illustrator-- needless to say, I am a busy girl.  I am so intrigued by how economics, social forces, politics, influenced people-- the art/craft is reflective of its time.  On a visceral level, something in me is coming alive. I trust in it. I believe in it.  It's not my obligation as an emerging artist to express myself-- it's a very powerful and conscious choice.  I look forward to my college graduation and the unveiling of all of the writing, art and beautiful things I am creating.  I am so grateful. Love and blessings, Erika 

She opened the door. new place, new space. There are unfamiliar faces  Testing her knowledge. She aces life's tests . The wind blows. High velocity.  A branch is torn off,  The roots are in tact.  * * *  * * *   * * *  Stay true to the roots. Branches grow in many directions, Yet, the roots remain safely in the ground.  Life's seasons, nature's reasons. Knowing the branches may break But being willing to explore the directions..

No need to look any further.. it's all an illusion;  confusion.  Dissapear, Fear. Vanish. I embrace your face.. Decisions bring change.. But also, Courage and strength.. I'm not in this alone.  The power within creates the world without. Pride doesn't exist. Humility and love, surround me. It's all within reach.  How Good do I want it?

The Gentle Wind The gentle wind grazed her shoulders- Whispered in her ear: Even though you didn’t see me, I was always here. I brought you comfort In time of need, I heard your painful cries, I took the lead. There were things beyond your control, That you didn’t understand, The pain carried was unnecessary, You Surrendered. I took your hand. The lesson learned- Burdened hearts provides grace, In controlling too much, You taint fate. The course of life changes- Step left, land right. It’s healing time baby, Time to shine your light. In order to inspire- Time is needed to heal. To lean toward truth, Address what you feel. Life’s a ride, Don’t hang on too tight. Open your eyes; Take down your walls Soak in the breathtaking sights. Slow down. I’ll embrace you. I’ll teach you faith. Open your heart. Let go.

  "Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself, that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart.” - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer This year has been an arduous journey of self-discovery. This summer alone, has been an intense roller-coaster.  I am incredibly grateful to trust the process----breakdowns allow breakthroughs. I have always advocated the phrase "forgiveness is an act of self-love."  Intellectually, I have understood this. Now, with experience, as I have previously mentioned, it is a two-step process.  There are several situations that I am feeling a deep resentment toward. The intentions were loving and the outcome was disastrous.   Yesterday, I had an opportunity to first realize that I was angry at myself for my part in creating the situation. Secondly, I was able to understand that there was resentment to this person because she has not vocalized her contributio

A friend texted me on August 20th to let me know that Tony Scott had committed suicide. Tony Scott? I know that name from somewhere.  Once I googled him, I knew immediately who it was. I've been following the press ever since. I was mostly interested in how those who knew him professionally or personally were affected by his death. This morning, I read The DailyLove.com. Mastin Kipp wrote an entry called: How can you extend Love to a total stranger today?  .  Right up my alley.  He mentioned his thoughts and reactions to Tony's death.  Even more powerfully, Mastin reminds us that we don't know what someone is battling personally, how to find love in this situation, and how to offer to others- even a total stranger.  I wanted to take an opportunity to share some thoughts. When somebody famous dies or their personal struggles are publicized, the feedback is usually extremely negative. I have recently learned that feedback is simply information- it

Why are people afraid to be human? Human beings are emotional beings.  We have hearts but are often so head-strong that sometimes it causes a disconnect with our hearts.   So, what do you do when this happens?  Well, re-connect! I know what you may be thinking, "if only it were that simple?"  Well, it is!  I am learning how to create a loving time and space to allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling.  Sometimes, it is when I am being the biggest nerd. I define nerd to mean a victim, desperate, righteous..etc.  Where I would usually be incredibly hard on myself, I am learning, day by day, to shift to embracing these emotions with grace and acceptance. I've noticed the more I do this, the quicker the painful emotions dissolve. Self-love is born here.  This subject should be taught in schools. Important life-skills for dealing with life's challenges.  With that said, I am practical. Sometimes, the pressures of life weigh so he

I don't know what to write today. I just know that I have to. No, I choose to. I have been grateful enough to get to know myself on a deep level.  During the journey, I am understanding what I want to create out of life.  I've had to ask myself repeatedly: What are you willing to do Erika?  Today, I am willing to face the truth that I still have a heavy burden on my heart. Disappointment. Abandonment. Loss. Guilt. Fear. The list goes on and on. While I have forgiven those who have hurt me, I discovered that I haven't forgiven myself.  This is causing a big disconnect in my life.  The reality is: I am a responsible adult. So, I chose to look at the areas that carried the most weight on my heart. How do/did I contribute to these situations? What was I responsible for? What can I do differently?  I also asked myself: Am I enough? My heart opened up and immediately looked at my sense of humor. At first, I thought this was odd. I looked at the self-depricating pa