Skip to main content

Boom, Boom..BAM

The birds are chirping, the sun is shining and my head is pounding. I have been caught up in the momentum and the flow of life; taking more action then I am used to a sit is increasing everyday. 

Today, I am physically less energetic then I was yesterday, but I have the ability to push myself to do what needs to get done. 

What's on my mind today? Grace and acceptance. Allowing myself to just be and giving myself the space to rest and rejuvenate.  

I've heard it's the journey that strengthens your character. Right now, I am being tested, and I have and will only get stronger. 

My anxious mind was at war with my grateful heart. I had to tell it to shut the HECK up. I have good problems, the freedom of choice. I am grateful for that. 

I am grateful for supportive loved ones..But, choices are freakin' expensive. NYC is expensive. 

The reality is you have to compromise somewhere. Compromising and settling are not one in the same. It has important for me, along my journey to be joyfully (I automatically put painfully but changed it to joyfully- ahh the beauty of writing) aware of WHY I am making the choices I am. I am embracing a new relationship with FEAR. This is the point where I would give up. 

I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I have dreams burning holes inside me. 

So here I am, caught in between who I was and who I am choosing to be. Momentum friends, saying X and doing X. Keeping my word to myself. Changing my actions. 

Financial obligations hit me at all ends. One bill..at..a..time.. BOOM..BOOM..

The room mate selection process is interesting. It's something I was afraid to do by myself at one point..And there I am, this NYC girl interfacing with strangers. It's been a rewarding experience in trusting my gut, seeing the value rent money gets you..and it scared me. I considered re-choosing my choices. 

"Life is NOW!" So here I am, instead of complaining and being overwhelmed with all that has to get done..I am attacking it, one thing at a time. 

Thank you for the supportive friends, new and old alike.. who re-mind me to continue joyfully on this journey. 

BOOM, BOOM, BAM...

With love,
Erika 



Comments

  1. UnknownJune 28, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    Excellent! Really great reading this! Every day is a new day to do ANYTHING you want in your life. Enjoy the journey! love this:

    I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I have dreams burning holes inside me

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Me, Myself and Rogue.

Hello Readers! I ask you to connect to the picture below for a few moments. Remember her?  Rogue: the powerhouse from  X-Men. She had the ability to absorb the memories, physical strength and remove the specialities of almost anyone she touches.  Sounds pretty cool, right?  Well, the storyline built around her is that she needed to avoid all physical contact until she gained full control over her power. It affected her romantic relationship with Gambit. Imagine not being able to hug or show affection because you could kill another human being?  In moments of desperation, Rogue turned to Professor X to seek help to control her powers. It took a while for her to be accepted; it was the persistence and the compassion of Professor X to allow the others to give her a chance.  In many ways, I truly connect with her character. This wave of nostalgia joined me when my best friend randomly said, "Omg- E! You are soooo Rogue. You internalize everything!" (at lea
3 comments
Read more

Today, I Choose.

I usually not a fan of roller-coasters, but I sure do enjoy the ride. (Or at least, now I do)  The past year and a half has been radically about getting to know myself. After long romantic relationships, challenging family relationships, I chose to move to a location where others accessible but not within close proximity. I was afraid at first, but it has been such a blessing and a gift for me.  I have moved four times in two years and I am close to moving again, yes, for the fifth time. It may seem that I am crazy, but this won't be my last move. While the process may seem annoying, from my own unique perspective, it is opportunistic for several reasons:  1. We accumulate a lot of stuff- so I am constantly in a state of reassessing my belongings, my clothes, and also, my relationships.  2. We are creatures of movement- While it is good to settle down, I used to be so afraid of this idea. I wouldn't even hang anything on the walls. I'd say to the place
2 comments
Read more

AIDS WALK 2014

A close loved one of mine has been infected with HIV for over 15 years. To honor her, I've been participating in the AIDS walk for a few years. This year, I wanted to build a team of support - to frame a picture with the certificate of completion. This past Sunday, five friends joined me to make that happen. We walked 6.2 miles amongst the 30,000 others for the cause. My loved one struggles with mattering- often neglecting her well-being until it's almost too late. It's been painful to watch someone be depressed, suffer from addictions and allow her circumstances to define the life she was leading. It leads her. I'll never know what it's like to be infected. I do remember when I was told. I was fifteen years old.  I cried. I didn't know how to process that information. Nobody was able to comfort me. So, I educated myself. I learned about the ELISA test- a diagnostic tool used to screen HIV, all of the potential opportunistic infections and watched Philadelph
1 comment
Read more